Friday, August 28, 2009

Still on the land...

We got on a ship very briefly. Queequeg saved some mother fucker. Now we're back on the land.

The most exciting thing to happen is celebrating Ramadan.

I swear to God... if Ahab doesn't rear his ugly, patrick stewart like face sometime soon I might get... god help me... bored. Like, Scarlet Letter bored.

Other than that this book is alright.

Nevermind about the cannibal...

When they mentioned a cannibal they should have just called him a homo-erotic plot device but without the sex.

Queegueg, you tease.

Ooooooo... a cannibal!

OMG This is starting to get better. A cannibal is coming in the room?! I sense a huge leap forward in story telling and awesome shit. Imagine what a cannibal could do to help out this book... at least the long descriptions will focus on describing something interesting, like eating human flesh.

Well played Melville... my interest has been piqued.

Blah blah blah...

Are we really still on the land? I thought I was reading a book about WHALING!

Instead of calling you Ishmael can I call you land lover? This is ridiculous... we haven't even met Ahab... we haven't even seen a fucking whale... but boy oh boy do we have a lot of descriptions about stuff.

Call me Ishmael

Okay... I will call you Ishmael. Is there anything else you need me to do for you, narrator of this novel?

This isn't starting out as well as I'd hope. And no sign of Ahab yet. Anticipation!

The prequel

I'm at the prequel or something... it seems to just be 15 pages of quotes about whales. I never realized how many people had written about whales. And here I thought that Moby Dick was the definitive source for books about whales.

Wow... most of these are from the bible. I wonder which day God created whales? That would be a lot of work, that day, since whales are so big.

Oh, here's a quote from Hobbes. That's just in reference to whales, but really it's talking about civilization.

There are far too many quotes about whales.

When is this book going to start?